Good Pain, Bad Pain
I remember when a friend of mine had a car accident. He was in his early 20s and might have been under the influence. He ended up with 123 stitches in his face, running under and along the bottom of his cheekbone. Remarkably, he walked away from the car wreck, strolled down the street into an apartment building while holding his eye in its socket, and went to see his mother’s boyfriend. Just as an aside, her boyfriend was a famous musician at the time.
He walked into the man’s apartment with his eye being held in place by his hand. In shock, his mother’s boyfriend asked him, “What are you doing? What’s going on? You have to go to a hospital!” Despite the severity of his injuries, my friend had very little feeling. You would think the pain would be overwhelming, but between being under the influence and being in shock from the damage, he was able to walk down the street and act as if nothing was happening.
Misinterpretations and Misunderstandings
Although thankfully few of us have the experience my friend had; pain is a very odd experience. Often, we categorize pain as entirely negative, but as in my friend’s experience, severe physical trauma doesn’t always equate to severe pain. His face needed to be put back into place and his eye reinserted into its socket, yet he felt no pain at that time.This contrasts with how people typically react to daily aches and pains. When people do experience pain, from a slight twinge to severe, they can become immediately concerned and anxious. They might begin interpreting it as a sign that something is terribly wrong. But is pain always bad? Aren’t we grateful when our body tells us to jump out of the way of an oncoming car? Aren’t we thankful for pain when we touch a hot stove? Pain serves as a warning signal, guiding us away from danger. Isn’t that a good thing? Acute pain happens quickly when something is wrong and goes away quickly when the cause is alleviated. Chronic pain is pain that lingers for months with no clear, identifiable cause. In this blog, I am referring more to chronic aches and pains and how we interpret those associated signals.
When it comes to chronic physical pain or panic attacks, which can be filled with intensely physical sensations, these experiences are often misunderstood. The key lies in how we interpret these sensations. Due to the overwhelming nature of pain, and how it can happen in a millisecond, we often label it as “bad,” which can exacerbate the discomfort. If you think of pain as the worst thing ever—such as fearing a ruptured disc and impending surgery—you might find that your pain worsens as you reinforce this negative narrative. There are two parts: the physical experiences and our thoughts while having these experiences. These are very difficult to separate but extremely beneficial when you do.
As we become adults, the aches and pains, whether emotional or physical, can get all mixed up. If you had anxiety that made you nauseous and then you got nauseous again from the flu, it’s all nausea. But the next time you get nauseous, it might make you remember the anxiety, so the flu is then so much more impactful. We build narratives that are not accurate and consequently misinterpret what is actually going on. This cycle of pain leaves many of us stuck. The truly unfortunate part of that is some of us then don’t go out as much as we might like, pursue endeavors we want to pursue, or move freely because of these misinterpretations. And the narrative around the fears builds and gets bigger. We want to break them down a bit, but that requires being a bit more specific with what we notice and where we are feeling certain sensations, and then responding differently. And you must respond. If you do not respond, you remain stuck in the fear and dread and keep the experience alive.
Our body communicates through pleasure and pain; it doesn’t send you an email; it sends you sensations.
The body is not our enemy. It communicates through pleasure and pain. It doesn’t send emails or detailed reports; it simply tells us whether a direction is good or bad.
Conversely, many of us misinterpret good responses. For example, if one drink feels good, we might think five drinks will feel even better. While we know intuitively that more often leads to feeling worse, in our desperate attempt to escape pain and embrace pleasure, we overlook these nuances.
In the moment, we often want to feel good and avoid pain. However, sometimes taking a moment—just a few milliseconds—to talk to yourself differently can change how your body responds to pain. Many of us don’t do this; instead, we create more pain by trying to avoid it. Those few seconds of reflection can alter the pain’s trajectory and prevent potential problems down the road.
What You Can Do
Next time you experience an achy back, hip problems, or a panic attack, consider taking a moment to reflect. Ask yourself if you’ve encountered this before and if there’s anything you could do differently. Here are a couple of suggestions:
- Change the dialogue: Ask yourself if you have been here before, and answer your questions. Don’t pretend the feelings aren’t there. Acknowledge that these are physical feelings based on your responses.
- Do something physically different: Instead of panicking and holding your breath, try longer, slower exhalations to help your body breathe easier. It might take a couple of minutes, but your body does know how to return to normal.
While you can’t change the severity of immediate trauma—such as my friend’s car accident—you can intercede and break the cycle of exacerbating chronic aches and pains. By reframing your response and taking different actions, your outcome changes. Pain might have prompted my friend to get to the hospital quickly and might similarly be guiding you to make better choices for your health. The Miracle Ball Method can assist in this process, as your body knows how to move in a direction that aligns with its needs. Embrace the guidance of pain and pleasure as they help you navigate through life.
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